mother craft

I never considered myself a crafty person, but with lots of time on my hands at the house while Anna sleeps, and all the inspiring pictures and tutorials in the mom-blogosphere, I couldn't help but find my inner crafter. It all started with some wooden letters of Anna's name. I found some paint to match her bedroom and looked at some idea examples at Hobby Lobby and whipped them out one Saturday. Then, after feeling something was missing and with an extra mirror from Ikea in my possession, I painted the mirror over the course of MANY coats of paint and several episodes of the last season of Gilmore Girls.




Once that craft was finished so successfully, I already had 10 different ideas for more. Here are the results:

I made the headband while I was in Ohio from baby tights and a flower from the $1 store

A tutu

Not as easy as I'd hoped-- and my machine went crazy, so you can see the stitching coming undone already. I'm anxious to try it with fusible interfacing and a different fabric

SOOOO cute and sewing machine free! I learned how to blanket stitch to make this and I have some more embelleshments planned on it like a jingle bell at the toe so Anna can make noise when she kicks.

I have the materials ready for another tutu, several more bows, a wooden flower with a knob (on which to hang Anna's princess towel), a pair of felt Mary Janes, and I'm considering making a strip quilt like the beautiful pink and black quilt Amber made for Anna's baby shower. And I'm starting to get the baby clothes bug after seeing so many cute clothes in online boutiques with ridiculous prices.

I'm having lots of fun doing it, and I like to watch Anna inspect the things that I make. She pulls on the flower on her hairbow and admires the letters and mirror above her crib. She ponders her colorful feet and sucks on the little bows.

Anna is starting to love to play as evidenced by this video.



Those are all her very favorite toys at once. She loves to talk to the little bugs that hang above her and she's getting really good at grasping the rings and pulling them to her mouth. I think she's figured out that if she pulls on them it makes the bugs shake and jingle. I tried letting her kick a pie pan about a week ago to make some noise and she really liked it, but it's turned into one of her favorites since we started putting shoes on her while she does it. It makes so much more noise that way!

Anna's becoming a much better behaved baby than she used to be. She can play on her own now and has a generally happy disposition with periods of fussiness rather than the other way around. She's getting better at letting strangers hold her... for short periods of time. She loves to talk and will have a nice conversation with you if she deems you interesting enough.

One thing Anna is not doing well is sleeping. She goes to sleep just great and falls back asleep easily, but getting her to sleep longer than 4 or 5 hours is a challenge which means I'm up feeding her twice a night. She goes to sleep around 9:00, wakes up between 1:00 and 2:00, eats on one side and goes right back to sleep, and then wakes up between 4:30 and 5:30, eats, and sleeps till 7:00 or 8:00. I tried (just once...) letting her cry when she woke up at 1:00 and she just cried until she was frantically screaming. I gave her her pacifier to calm her down and get her to sleep. She calmed down, but she didn't go to sleep for over an hour. I'm sure she was starving by then.

Up from a nap

She has occasionally slept better. Usually on Sunday nights when she's exhausted from our 2-5 PM church schedule, she'll sleep for 7 or 8 hours. But I don't think it's healthy to push her to the point of exhaustion just so she can crash for a long time.

Bedtime routine

Bath

Massage and PJs
Swaddled and fed

Around the time Anna was 6 weeks old, I read a lot. I read The Baby Whisperer, Happiest Baby on the Block, Baby Wise, and -- according to many of my friends-- the sleep Bible, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I took advice from each of them, though the last one mostly frustrated me and I had a hard time understanding what exactly I was supposed to do. I've tried moving Anna's bed time up by 20 min to push it forward like Weisbluth suggests, but when I do that, she just whines for a longer time and falls asleep at exactly the same time as when we started her bedtime routine later. So, I'm tired and frustrated and wondering what I'm doing wrong. I've decided to just stick it out till Anna's 4 month check-up which is less than a week away.

Sound asleep

And between crafting and worrying about Anna's sleeping, I wonder if I'm doing other things right in my life. Am I using my free time to learn new skills, to keep my mind sharp, to continue my education? Am I growing enough spiritually? Could I be doing more to strengthen my relationship with my husband? Am I reading to Anna enough? When do I start baby sign? How? Are we getting enough variety and nutrition in our meals? How do I decide who to vote for? Which issues are the most important?

As you can probably tell, it's been kind of a hard week. Yet another reason to lose myself in ribbon and glue guns.

PS-- This is my 100th post. Horray for me and my blog! Check out my picasa page (link to the right) to see pictures and video from Anna's 4th month.

giveaways

I'm on a giveaway kick this morning. I just entered at MomDot to win this duffle bag for Anna at Simply Suzzan. I also like her paisley bags.

And I really really want one of these shirt extenders from Blush:

The crazy mommy bloggers over at MomDot blog, are hosting a contest to make the world a better place and to fight muffintop. Please come over and enter to win an amazing giveaway from Blush, where you can keep or pass along an awesome topless undershirt. They need 200 entries to get more shirts to give away, so come enter this worthwhile fashion cause. And while you are there, dont forget about the other awesome giveaways and new chat room. Oh, and Toni is crazy. Really, really crazy.

And finally, at notes from my nest I'm hoping for one of these head wraps (or anything else I can win... it's all so adorable!) from Oopsoe Dazie. And I just saw they have FREE SHIPPING on EVERYTHING to US residents. My life is SOOOO good.

a bouquet of sharpened pencils

I love school supplies. They're so fresh and full of promise. Who knows what profound thoughts (or cute boys names) will end up on their pages? What artwork will be created with those new glitter crayons? Even with no reason to buy them, I still peruse the goods at Target. And then I saw these notebooks at Little Birdie Secrets. I can't wait for Anna to need school supplies like these.

milk shaking

With me breastfeeding Anna six to eight times a day, there's a lot of breast baring going on in our house and the "feed machines," as they are often called now, have become a regular topic of conversation. And so, this blog post was born.

I love breastfeeding. Thankfully, Anna was good at it from the start, so aside from a few sore weeks, it's been a pleasure. Anna gets so excited when she's about to eat and smiles and giggles as she latches on. I love snuggling with her and time just disappears as she gazes up into my eyes... *sigh*

I also love that it's so convenient. I've nursed at the Houston Fine Arts Museum, the Space Center, McDonalds, in the Target, Walmart, and Gap dressing rooms, at airports, in airplanes, at friends' houses, at church, in the movie theater, etc. I cover up while I'm nursing, but that's mostly for other people's comfort than for my own. The more I nurse, the less worried I am about strangers seeing my breast.

About a week ago, I read an article by a self-proclaimed "lactivist". (Alas, I could not remember where I read it, so there's no link to it.) A Christian, stay-at-home-mom, who had never considered herself a radical, she had participated in her La Leche League, nurse-in's, and touted the benefits of breastfeeding to all her friends. Oh how I identified with her. I would LOVE to attend a nurse-in, to show my solidarity. It's the kind of protest I could really get into.

Yet, I understand when women don't feel as comfortable as I do baring it all. Between conventions of modesty and these women, the market for nursing covers has boomed. With their clever names-- Hooter Hiders, Peek-A-BooBs, Moo Moo Mama--and trendy fabrics, nearly every nursing mother I know owns one. They range in cost from $18- $70. I recently found instructions for how to make my own and did. The whole project cost about $6, and I've been toying with the idea of selling them ever since.

Sam and I brainstormed business ideas at the dinner table. I could sell them online, or at a craft fair. They could have matching burp cloths, or little pockets. The real gem of an idea though was the name. And so, in honor of solidarity and World Breastfeeding Week, I share with you...

Boob Noob!TM
"For the breastfeeding noob to cover her boobs"

Does your blanket keep falling off while you nurse in public, sharing more than you care to bare?
Try the Boob Noob!TM for nursing privacy wherever you go

doing good

In the First Presidency message of the Ensign this month, President Monson quoted the hymn "Have I Done Any Good?"

"Have I done any good in the world today?
Have I helped anyone in need?
Have I cheered up the sad and made someone feel glad?
If not I have failed indeed.

Has anyone's burden been lighter today because I was willing to share?
Have the sick and the weary been helped on their way?
When they needed my help was I there?
...
Doing good is a pleasure, a joy beyond measure,
A blessing of duty and love."

As I read President Monson's comments and pondered the words of the hymn, I knew I could say, "Yes." Every day I help Anna. I cheer her when she's crying. I soothe her when she's weary. I share my husband, my home, my time, my body, and my love with her. She needs me and I am there.

My brother Doug once pointed out that in caring for our children, we are keeping God's commandment to "clothe the naked, and to feed the hungry, ... and administer relief to the sick and the afflicted" (Jacob 2:19, Mosiah 4:26, Mathew 25: 34-40).

I want to serve those outside my family, but at this time in my life, the majority of my service is done within my home. However, in serving Anna and Sam, I learn how to serve. I feel joy in service and become other-centered rather than self-centered. Someday, I will be like my own mother and have created an extended family of good friends who I have loved and served. It will have been a pleasure, a great blessing of duty and love.

scrapblog

This is my new favorite thing. I love their pre-made layouts. Their website says they're adding print capability soon. I hope they'll have a photobook option as well. I feel like this website is what I've been waiting for in terms of scrapbooking. Here's one I whipped up today:

game face

watch out Kournikova-- there's a new Anna on the tennis scene

celebrity look-alikes

I was inspired by Melissa. I have no idea who some of these people are, but it was pretty fun to do. I LOVE that Sam's best match was Dakota Fanning.

http://www.myheritage.com/collage

being a mom

I always knew I would enjoy being a mom and that I would love my children, but I never expected to be as attached as I am to Anna. I love her so much. When she wakes me in the middle of the night, either hungry, or flailing her arms which have escaped her swaddle, I just want to snuggle her close, and its hard to put her back in her crib after she's eaten and fallen asleep on my chest. In the mornings, when I wake to her "oooo-waah!" cries of hunger, I always giggle as I pick her up with her pink cheeks, her confused "I-just-woke-up" face, and her active little tongue. I wish her good morning, cuddle her, kiss her, and sing to her. And now, she's so alert and curious, she just looks around at the whole world, so entranced by what she sees. Often, she catches my face in her searchings. She smiles wider and wider at the faces I make. (She has an ADORABLE little dimple at the top of her left cheek). We play and read and sing all day, exchanging smiles, and I am occasionally rewarded with a little cough/giggle that's brand new this week-- Anna is so surprised when it erupts from her mouth. In the evenings, when I could have some time to myself as Sam plays with her, I end up just watching them play, always ready to jump in if she gets fussy. At night, after she's bathed and swaddled, she snuggles up to me as she eats, and now ultimately relaxed, she gives me a gummy grin in the middle of her meal.

I'm so filled with love it catches me off guard sometimes. I can feel it bursting in my chest. It fills our lives and home with joy (exhausted joy) and I can't help but know that life is right-- not always happy or easy or wonderful, but right.

cosby's are cool

Summer is here, which means we finally have interesting activities to report on. Of course, having Anna around is always interesting. She's getting cuter by the day. She coos and smiles all the time-- while I'm feeding her, after I feed her, while we're playing, in the bath, on the changing table. It makes me SO HAPPY and I just kiss her all over. She's so alert and interested in everything now. She loves to be sitting up so she can look around; we love to laugh at her wobbling balance attempts while she builds up her trunk and neck muscles. True, there are plenty of fussy and frustrating moments, but her cuteness and cuddliness more than make up for any of that.


So, onto the fun. We made it to one free outdoor Houston Symphony concert this summer. We went to dinner at Pollo Campero. Sam said he ate there all the time on his mission in El Salvador and has really been wanting to go back and to share the experience with me. I thought the food was very yummy-- better than KFC-- and it was fun to eat my fried chicken with salsa in a corn tortilla that came as a side to my combo meal. We were the only non-Hispanics there and I think I got the full experience with the European football semi-finals playing and the radio blasting trumpet-tooting, Latin pop.

The evening was gorgeous-- not too hot, and a little breezy. A cute old couple was walking by us to put up their chairs and the old woman saw Anna and said, "Well she is just too cute to pass up," and proceeded to coo at her and comp- liment her hair and eyes. Later, when we were taking some pictures, she said, "Would you like my husband to take a picture? He's very good at taking pictures. He can take one now, and some later, at intermission too. His pictures are very good." So we had the old man take our picture.

The music was wonderful. The symphony played "The Fountains of Rome" by Respighi, which I had never heard before. It was simple and pretty and I enjoyed it more than I expected to. They played Tchaikovsky's Violin Concerto next with the second prize winner of the Ima Hogg Young Artist Competition as the soloist. It's one of our favorite pieces and was a surprise since the contest had been held that week and we didn't know who would be performing. Anna was a little fussy during those but slept most of the time. After intermission they played Respighi's "The Pines of Rome." We stayed long enough to hear my favorite part, but Anna and I were both tired, so we left a little early and heard the finale in the parking lot as we drove away. Sam and I promised ourselves we weren't going to give up doing the things we enjoy just because Anna makes it a little harder, and it was nice to live up to that promise, even if it means doing a things a little simpler than we used to.

The next week, we had a new couple in our ward over to dinner. They just moved in from Provo and have two adorable 5-month-old identical twin daughters. The story of their pregnancy and birth was quite an exciting one, and reminded me how grateful I am that Anna and I were both so healthy through the whole thing. We had so much fun getting to know them and we love having more friends our age in the ward (though there are a lot already!).


The next day, we packed up the car and headed to Dallas for a Cosby family reunion! Anna did really well in the car and slept the whole way, though she had two rough nights following that. She had a baptism by fire into the fun and craziness of Cosby gatherings and though she would let me know when things were getting a little too loud and exciting for her, she did really well over all.

We had SUCH a good time with our family. Sam's parents hosted all of us and were so sweet to give up their room and huge walk-in closet so Anna would have a quiet place to sleep AND Sam and I wouldn't be kept up by her at night. Ruth created a child's heaven in the back yard with kiddie pools, sprinklers, sandboxes, and the trampoline. I loved to sit out there in the evenings on her swing and chat with my sister- and brother-in-laws. It was also the perfect setting for evening scripture study where we enjoyed one another's insights and testimonies.

In the beautiful back yard

We went to a waterpark and had great fun floating around the lazy river in a train and racing down the slides. We played lots of games and Guitar Hero (not my or Anna's favorite). We had a town parade and delicious barbeque on the 4th. We enjoyed the cousins' talents in our quick little talent show (definitely my favorite-- especially Isaac's roaring rendition of "Praise to the Man"). And mostly we just talked and ate and relaxed, which is exactly how vacations should be. We missed Jacob while we were there and will miss everyone else until we can find another time to be together again.

Cousin Isaac

Daddy daughter time

With Cousin Isabelle

Little Firecracker?

Four tired patriotic cousins (and Oma, the bear)

We caught Anna sucking her thumb for the first time during a nap

Anna and Aunt Amy

Things have been pretty quiet since we've been home. Anna had her two month check up. She's 23 in long and 13 lb 6 oz which puts her at the 90th percentile for weight. We love her little rolls. She got her vaccinations today and so far all has gone well and will hopefully continue that way.


I leave for Ohio in a week to visit my family and attend my friend Christine's wedding. Anna will get to meet her Grandpa Stay, her Great Grandparents, and one of her namesakes, Anna Jo, along with all my wonderful friends there. I can't wait, though I'm a little nervous about the flight, and making Anna transition to another strange environment. Still, I imagine it'll be a little bit easier flying with her when all she needs to be entertained is me, and not books, toys, snacks, juice boxes, kleenexes, restraining devices, etc. Ah, the joys to come...

baby face

I just uploaded a lot more pictures to Month 2 in my web albums which you can view by clicking on the link to the right. You'll want to check it out seeing as Anna is undeniably the cutest baby ever. You don't want to miss that.

domesticity

Don't tell Betty Friedan, but there's something really satisfying about knowing that Sam is going to come home to a clean house, a hot dinner, a pretty wife, a happy child, and freshly baked muffins.

she's back

That's right, folks. I am officially back. This morning I went for my first run in many months, and it felt great. Yes, it was slow, and it was short, but it was running nonetheless. It gave me such a thrill, and visions of leisurely 5-milers opened before me. Wish me luck (and an open treadmill at the gym) for the future.

Jesse Eldred Stay

Just as the sun
Which blesses us
During the day
With light and warmth--

And in the evening
Drops below the horizon
Leaving us
In the chill dark of night--

Is not extinguished!

But shines still
On distant shores
Blessing with its radiance
Other Souls
Beyond our view

So this dear one
Who warmed our hearts
And lighted our lives
Through the day--

Now gone
Beyond the limited horizon
Of our mortal view.

Leaving us
In dark sorrow
And chill loneliness--

Is not dead!

But sheds warmth and light
On dear souls gone before
--Jesse E. Stay

That poem was written by my grandfather, Jesse Eldred Stay, who died this morning at 7:13 AM. Many of his children were with him and said he died peacefully, for which we are grateful. Here are a couple of eloquent tributes to him from my cousin and sister, but I felt like I should add my own memories.

I found out when I checked my email this morning and sat quietly for a moment, waiting for a sense of shock or for tears, but none came. I just couldn't be sad about a life well-lived. Grandpa would have been 87 next month and I don't think I know anyone personally whose had a life as full as his. He was a WWII hero, flying over 40 missions as the pilot of a B-24 bomber. He lived all over the country and world in his career with the Air Force, earning a masters degree, working in the Pentagon, and retiring as a Colonel. He was a Bishop, Stake President, Mission President, member of the LA Temple Presidency, and Patriarch. My maiden name, Stay, was recognized everywhere I went and I was often asked if I was related to Jesse Stay. I was always proud and happy to answer that I was his granddaughter.

People may have met my grandfather because he held important positions, but they remembered him for his kindness, humor, and generosity. I heard countless stories from people I met about how as their bishop, or neighbor, or mission president, he had rendered some great service, or given wise counsel that was never forgotten. I've often spoken of what a Christ-like man my own father is and I have no doubt he learned how to selflessly love and serve from his own father.

Unfortunately, I didn't know my grandpa very well. We lived across the country from him during my childhood and rarely got to see him. When we did, it was often at family reunions and there wasn't much one-on-one time with grandpa when he has 50 grandchildren to give attention to. However, I did spend two Christmases at my grandparents' house in Huntington Beach, CA while I was in college and loved being with and learning from my grandparents then.

Always, on our first morning there, Grandpa would make his famous pancakes and freshly squeezed orange juice from his own orange tree. There was always more than we could ever eat and grandpa would tell stories of his childhood, or of my dad as a child. Then he'd send us off to the beach stocked with sand toys, boogie boards, towels, and hats.

After spending the whole day at the beach, we'd come home to a warm dinner. Grandpa never ever let anyone do the dishes. Often, he wouldn't even let me put my dish in the sink. He said it was because he liked things put in a certain way in the dishwasher, but really, he just liked to be the one who was doing the work. He always had to be serving.

In the evenings, we'd tell more stories, or watch movies. Grandma and Grandpa always had ice cream for us. I remember one evening, Grandpa asked Grandma if she would like a bowl. She said yes she would, but that she would get them both a bowl. Grandma scooted forward to push herself out of the couch, but Grandpa just grabbed her by the hips and pulled her back down. At 84 though, Grandpa wasn't quick enough to get off the couch before Grandma was the one pulling on his hand to pull him to the couch while propelling herself upwards. They just kept pulling and giggling and teasing like a couple of newly weds. Their only argument was over who got to serve the other.

And that's what I remember most about my Grandpa: laughing at his bad puns and silly jokes while he cooked for us, or cleaned up after us. I never really saw him excelling in any of his high status roles, but I know I saw him succeeding in his most important ones as husband and father. I love him and will miss him, but I will always be grateful for the legacy of love and service he left behind.

"my little buttercup...

...has the sweetest smile"


Anna's getting very good at smiling. The best is when she smiles because she realizes it's me. Her mouth opens wide, her cheeks spring up, and her eyes squint with glee. Whenever she does that, I get SO happy and praise and kiss and cuddle her. However, she still does lots of lesser smiles for other things that please her like a soft blanket, or passing gas, or peeing with no diaper on, or right before she spits up-- you know, the really pleasurable things in life.


Still, Anna's getting to be lots of fun. She continues to adore bath time and loves it when Mommy massages her soapy body or when Daddy makes a wave pool ("They have this at Schlitterbahn, Anna!") She likes to listen to music and dance around the room. If she's in her bouncy seat, she wiggles her arms and legs. I love to sing to her and she especially enjoys it when we do action songs (like "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes"-- her current favorite) and I move her arms and legs for her. When she's feeling a little more docile, she likes to go on walks and be lulled by the rhythm of the stroller. If we prop her up, she can sit up in the rocking chair and just looks around the room while we rock her. I think we're going to buy a swing soon.


Of course, play time is some of the best time with Anna. She's alert and cute and interactive. I personally think she's cutest while she's eating. That may be because she likes to snuggle into me and look at my face, and a profile shows off her big round eyes and tiny eyelashes.

I soak up all her cute and loving moments to get through the trying ones. For instance, yesterday at church, I expected Anna to fall asleep in the car ride over and continue to snooze through the first hour or so. Didn't happen. For the first hour, we rotated between eating and being held/rocked by Mommy. Then for the second hour, I tried to bring her into Sunday School, but she would start fussing the moment I opened the door to the classroom. If I wandered the hall, she was content to just look around, but the second I opened the door, her face would start to crinkle up and I could see a nice loud cry would erupt at any moment. So no Sunday School.

She has also started to cry in the evenings. The first time it happened, we just didn't know what to do. She cried and cried and sounded so desperate and afraid, but if you held her, she just got even more stimulated and wailed harder. It drove me to tears and finally she was tired and hungry enough to nurse herself to sleep. That week, I read three books with varying advice on soothing, napping, and bedtime. We've started swaddling Anna again and she's gone from 40 minutes to 10 minutes of crying time in her crib before she falls asleep. And last night she slept for two 4-hour stretches.

It's a huge roller coaster ride. One day I think I'm doing great and think, "Maybe we're figuring this out." And the next will be really hard. I'll read one book and think, "Yeah, that sounds good!" and the next will just confuse me. I just hope and pray that being a good parent means I keep trying and playing with and loving Anna rather than having all the answers. Hopefully her smiles indicate that that's true.

PS-- look on the right for a permanent link to my picasa web albums with the latest pictures of Anna

sixty years

Today is my Grandma and Grandpa Holt's sixtieth wedding anniversary. I asked my Grandpa Roly if he had any favorite memories from the last sixty years, and this was his response:

"Oh, well, I got lots of 'em. There were lots of special times and memories. I carried your grandmother down a mountain once-- not a real happy memory, but, well.... I guess it's all the little day to day things that made it special. You work hard at it and you just keep going at it and holding hands. And then after a time, you're not just holding hands, you're holding your heart's delight, and then even the little things like holding hands become special."

I'm sure he was holding Grandma's hand right then. He said goodbye while telling me what a beautiful smile Grandma had.

What an amazing legacy of love from a wonderful marriage of six decades.

pictures

for lots of pictures of Anna, visit http://picasaweb.google.com/hmcosby

life as we know it....

...has changed forever for the better.

We're very in love with little Anna. Here are a few things about her.

• Anna loves soft things. Whenever she's fussy, we just wrap her up in them or put her in a fleece outfit and she goes limp with pleasure. She especially loves them rubbed against her cheek and will often give us a smile for that.
  
  
  
• Anna likes to eat. She gets really excited when she knows food is coming and puts her arms above her head, like she's on a roller coaster. While eating she smacks her lips and makes little "mm...mmm" sounds. She often eats too fast at first and ends up breathing some of it in and coughs and coughs. And then literally dives in for more.
  
  
• Eating agrees with Anna. She's around a plump 9 pounds these days and all the cuter for being a little chubby.
  
  
• Anna loves bath time. Though she looks terrified the entire time, she's quiet and looking around and not complaining. So I take that as a sign that she likes it.
  
  
  
• Anna is an amazing pooper. Every few days or so she just poops volumes, all at one time, which have thankfully always landed on the changing table cover and not on our carpet or bed.
  
  
  
• When Anna is awake and alert she's a lot of fun to play with. We read stories, sing songs, play the piano, have tummy time, and take walks. Anna loves to be snuggled next to Mom in the Moby-style wrap during anytime of the day.

I'll try to post some pictures soon so you can enjoy her cuteness. We've been busy enjoying family time and taking advantage of my mom's talents and capabilities while she's been here so blogging has been put on the back burner.

Anna is a good sharer and would love to give up her room for visitors. So plan a trip. See you soon!

smitten

I'm having a blissful moment. It's quiet here with Sam and Mom at church. Anna just finished eating and is asleep on my chest. She is so soft and warm and cuddling her makes me so relaxed and eases any pain I had been feeling in my abdomen. It has been a crazy week and I love that it has brought me to this point: quiet, comfortable, contemplative, with a beautiful new daughter just in time for Mother's Day.


Several people have asked, so I thought I'd write about what happened between last Friday and today.

As you read two posts ago, I started having contractions on Friday evening. They continued through the night, and though they were more painful than any of the Braxton-Hicks contractions I'd had before, they seemed pretty irregular to me (I was so naive). So, I spent the night on the couch breathing and forcing my self to relax during contractions, and sleeping for the 15-25 minutes between each one. I thought about waking up Sam to rub my back, but I thought, "I'll feel so bad and silly if I keep him up all night for no reason," and just stuck it out for several hours. Eventually Sam woke up and got me some breakfast. I showered (thank goodness) and got ready for the day. We had planned on going to the Space Center, but I told Sam I didn't think I was up to it and instead made a grocery and movie list so we'd be prepared for the coming week of me just resting.

So, Sam went shopping and I talked on the phone with my mom and a friend. By noon I was really tired and came in to lay on the bed. Sam got home sometime after one and asked how I was doing. I was having some contractions close together by this point, but there would still be periods of up to 20 minutes without one. I told Sam I wanted him to rub my back and got up out of bed. Suddenly, a really hard contraction came that sent me kneeling to the floor. It was worse than all the others and ended with me calling to Sam that my water had broken.

Our bag wasn't packed for the hospital and Sam had only been home for five or ten minutes. I could tell he was nervous, but he got together everything we needed, called some people to come take care of things around the apartment, and attended to me when I'd call him. In the mean time, I crawled into the bathtub and started the warm water. It felt great. I am sold on the idea of a water birth. While there, I called my mom and told her the news. She bought a plane ticket and left for the airport an hour later.

Eventually things were ready and Sam got me into the car. I had a few contractions on the way to the hospital (a 12-minute drive) and was happy to be up and walking again once we pulled up. By this time, the contractions were really strong, but I could handle them as long as I could hold onto Sam as they happened.

We got into the delivery room and I changed into a hospital gown. The nurses started asking all sorts of questions that I was in no mood to answer and started hooking me up the the electronic fetal monitor. I don't remember things very clearly from this point on, but I know there was some talk of an ultrasound and someone told me I was dilated to 9 cm and should resist any urge to push.

Through what seemed like an eternity, but was, in reality just a few minutes, I got an IV in (on the fourth try...) and several other uncomfortable things. I asked what was going on and the nurses explained that the baby was breech and that she'd have to be delivered by c-section. They took Sam to suit him up for the OR and sign some papers while they took off the EFM and got me ready for the OR. Those were the worst moments when there was a flurry of activity going on around me, and I didn't have Sam or anyone else to get me through really strong, painful contractions. I felt so out of control and was probably in shock since my whole body was shaking and was freezing.

Finally, they got me to the OR and waited for a contraction to end to administer the anesthesia. I felt immediate relief flood my body and warmth came back. That feeling is the best argument in favor of an epidural that I've ever had. Soon, Sam was back with me, stroking my head and telling me how great I was doing. I felt calm and eager for the baby to come. The surgery took about half an hour and after a little tugging a pressure, I heard the doctors say, "There's one arm, and the other" and soon, a healthy cry filled the room. A nurse brought the baby to show her to us and of course, I started crying. I was so happy and relieved. I just kept thinking, "She's here!" They cleaned her and let Sam hold her a little before they went to weigh and measure her.

Sam left to be with Anna while I got cleaned up. They used some glue to hold the incision closed and complimented me on how fat-free my belly was. I thought it pretty funny that even with my belly cut open, I was still getting comments about my figure. We sure are an image-focused society, aren't we?

The next couple days were the hardest. It was hours before I was allowed to even see Anna, and when I did, she was in an isolette with oxygen pumping, a tube in her mouth to her stomach to release gas, an IV, heart monitors, a respiration monitor, a blood oxygen monitor, and blood pressure cuff. Her lungs were both underdeveloped (from being premature) and had liquid in them that hadn't been squeezed out in the normal fashion of being pushed through a birth canal. It was almost 24 hours after her birth that I was first allowed to hold her, but every time Sam or I did, all the levels that should have been going up went down and all the ones that should have been going down went up because of all the unfamiliar stimulation. So every couple of minutes, another alarm would go off on one thing or another and annoy both Anna and the nurses. I cried almost every time I saw her (fluctuating hormones and pain medication didn't help that). The nurses always made sure to tell me she was OK and that she just needed time and I shouldn't worry. I knew they were right, and I was honestly not worried at all, it was just so difficult to not be able to hold and comfort my baby, and to know that any effort to do so made things worse, not better.

By the third day, Anna was pretty stable, but wasn't making great improvements. One morning I went in to see her (I was doing great by this point, by the way, and was able to walk to the nursery from my room-- a great accomplishment for a c-section mommy, the nurses said) and the nurse on duty asked where I went to school. I was wearing a BYU t-shirt and told her I had gone to Brigham Young University in Utah. At that, she told me she was also a member of the LDS church and was friends with many people I knew. She was so comforting, and such a help. She even gave me her cell phone number in case I had any questions. She mentioned, in that first conversation that many NICU babies made a turn-around at about 72 hours, just hours away for our Anna.

Needless to say, she did just that. Within that same day, the nurses started feeding her my pumped breastmilk. Soon, the stomach tube came out, and soon after that, the oxygen was taken off. I went home from the hospital on Tuesday. A day or so later, they let me start breast feeding her directly, and I loved being so close to her. I went to the hospital for feedings at noon, 3, 6, and 9. In between, I would rest, and mom and I would get out about once a day. I got to drive one of those electric shopping carts at Walmart while we stocked up on diapers, wipes, diaper cream, nursing pads, baby wash, etc.

On Friday, the nurse told us that aside from the results of an EKG, and the "carseat challenge" (an hour in the car seat to make sure all her vitals were normal afterwards), Anna was ready to come home. We fed her at noon and came back for the 3 PM feeding. After feeding her and rocking her, the nurse explained that Anna was ready to go home right then! I called mom and had her come to the hospital to take pictures. We went through lots of paperwork and freed Anna of all her cords. We got lots of goodies to take home, as well. Finally, it was all done, and she was ours! We successfully got her into the car seat and introduced her to home.


It's so wonderful to have her home with us, and know she's healthy. She eats like a champ and we love watching her wiggle. She is a very light crier and heavy sleeper so far, and we hope those will continue to be her habit. We love her so very much and will continue to keep you updated on how cute she's getting with each day. Thanks everyone for all your prayers and offers of help. We've felt so supported through this whole process. We know the Lord protected both me and Anna and we are so grateful to Him for his watchful care. Being given one of His children to care for is the greatest gift we've ever been given.

anna sophia cosby

Born May 3, 2008 at 3:45 PM

6 lbs 5 oz and 18 inches

the real deal

Well folks, this is it. Labor has officially started, at least according to all the materials I got in my Prepared Childbirth class. Here's my status: dilated 3 cm, and 50% effaced (measured by my OB this morning), and I'm having mild contractions, at least 4 within one hour. With those statistics, I am definitely in the prodromal labor stage. But for all of you out there who are as ignorant about childbirth as I was until about a month ago, this stage lasts anywhere from 1-4 weeks. So don't get too excited just yet...though if you want to get a little bit excited, that's OK with me. I certainly am.

It's fun to know that my body's actually starting to do this. It may be "starting to do this" for another several weeks, but hey, so far so good, body!

With today's measurement, my doctor told us to make sure we had a bag packed and had the car seat in the car. So, we came home from the appointment and started to get things ready a bit. Then Sam and I went swimming which felt absolutely heavenly for my lower back and abdomen. This evening, we went to eat at Texas Roadhouse where we had a gift card. We got buffalo wings, ribeye steak, and ribs to share. It was really yummy, and by eating slowly and taking small bites, I was able to enjoy almost half of everything.

Here's the latest pregnancy pic. I'll be 36 weeks on Monday. Though I haven't gained much weight, the baby is still measuring within the normal range and my doctor says she thinks we're both healthy and fine. Today she told me, "You sure have done this pregnancy right!" She's a nice woman :)

Wish me luck in the weeks to come!

the greatest and best shoes in the world

A tribute. To Chacos.

I'm sure you remember how excited I was when I first bought my Chacos. I knew they were great, but I never expected what they would do for me. See, I got my Chacos in that blissful ante-pregnancy state of ignorance, just wanting a comfortable sandal.

But now, many months later, my feet have way more needs. They still need to be cool and supported-- the two original reasons for buying the Chacos-- but at a greater magnitude than I ever imagined. I've been hot since March 1st, and I tend to put my Chacos on like slippers for cooking or cleaning because they help me last longer while standing.

But what I didn't anticipate, was how my feet are slowly expanding. Any pregnant woman's do, but I just didn't think about it. I'm tying my laces a little looser these days. A few pairs of my shoes are getting snug, and at the end of a walk, I can't wait to get my Asics off.

And here is where the Chaco's shine. As my feet expand, SO DOES THE SHOE! That's right, I just adjust the straps (which are laced through the base of the sandal) and voila! a perfectly fitting pair of supportive shoes. It doesn't matter how wide my feet decide to go, these puppies will go right on with them.

So thank you to the Chaco company for solving a problem I didn't even know I was going to have.

off to the far east

Sam left this morning to spend two weeks in China (a week in Shanghai and a week in Suzho) at a conference for work. We got him all packed up last night, hopefully with enough books and multi-media to keep him occupied while he travels for the next 24 hours. I'm not too worried about him, though. He gets to fly business class, so he should be relatively comfortable on that 13 hour flight from Detroit to Tokyo.

Needless to say, I'm a little jealous, and sad to have him gone for two weeks. One of his co-workers asked if I was going with him, and when Sam said I wasn't, the man was shocked. Sam explained that I was 32 weeks pregnant and said, "I think she'd like to go to China, but I don't think she wants to travel to China right now." And that's exactly how I feel.

So, I'm trying to fill these next two weeks with good activities. Some plans are: do plenty of subbing, work on sewing the bedding for the crib, get some visiting teaching done, watch some girlie movies, read a lot, cook very little, and of course, try to get over this horrible cold that has plagued me for the last ten days.

Any other suggestions for making this time FLY by?

a little r and r

I think I've made a breakthrough. I'm sitting in my bed at 9:23 in the morning with my PJs still on perusing the internet on the lap top, and I feel no guilt whatsoever. I canceled the substituting job I had scheduled and planted a roll of toilet paper and bottle of Powerade on the bookshelf next to the bed. I've succumbed to my sick-with-a-cold, aching-from-viral-infection-and-pregnancy body and intend to take a nap after having done nothing this morning aside from eating breakfast and reading a magazine (and all that internet perusal). And no guilt. I love it.