Tuesday, February 26, 2008

"you're pregnant?! well, here's the one thing i'll tell you..."

Though other people noticing I'm pregnant and asking about my pregnancy is usually fun, there's always that comment that I just smile and nod at. Here are a few:

Awesome advice:
  • Don't sleep during the night at all the week before the baby's born, only during the day
  • Put your child in your bed; it's the only way she'll sleep
  • Don't ever let your child sleep in your bed; you'll never get her out
  • Pretend to have weird cravings even if you don't actually have them because it's the only time in your life you can get away with it
  • "The only thing that prevents stretch marks is [vitamin E, cocoa butter, tons of water, massages]"
Comments about the size of my belly:
  • "You're so tiny, I didn't even realize you were pregnant!"
  • "I knew someone who had twins who was smaller than you."
  • "You're finally really pregnant!" (from someone at church, once I started showing)
Assumptions about how I must be feeling:
  • "Judging by your size, you must just be getting to that really easy part of pregnancy."
  • "...of course, you're so healthy and little, that must be no problem for you." (from someone telling me they felt fat during pregnancy)
  • To Sam: "Been making a lot of late-night-craving runs lately?"
Things I'm assumed to know, but really have no clue about:
  • Braxton-Hicks contractions
  • What happens during the whole labor process
  • How and when to breast-feed
  • The "first" time I felt the baby move (more like it took a couple weeks to figure out Feeling A is gas, Feeling B is baby moving)
Comments from students where I'm substitute teaching:
  • "You've got a little pudge!" --7th grader
  • "My mom just had a baby. She was huge and mad, all the time." --9th grader
  • "You're six months pregnant?! When I had my baby, I was that big at four months. She's almost two now!" --10th grader
  • "Are you growing a baby in your tummy?" --1st grader

6 comments:

Sherry said...

This is probably my favorite post of all your posts. It is hilarious to me.

I especially like the things you've heard from students. Although, the sophomore with a two-year-old is sad. But so it is. Hooray for America!

Megan Ruth said...

Oh man! I love it. The only reason I know about Braxton Hicks is because of 'Friends.' Sadly.

My friend Britta is almost done with her ovenry (Get it, bun in the oven? Ok, fine, that was bad).

http://scottandbritta.blogspot.com/2008/01/biggest-pregnancy-pet-peeve.html

Jordy said...

Oh that's hilarious. It seems like everyone has some bit of knowledge about being pregnant that they just have to share with everyone. Although one thing works for one person it may not work for ANYONE ELSE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.

My favorite comment was the one by the 9th grader.

gremhog susan.hatch@gmail.com said...

Cocoa butter does work on most things but it sure didn't help with my stretch marks of honor. And I had 5 kids and still haven't a clue how all the delivery goes. I just laid there and enjoyed it. Now, however, I wonder why I didn't get hypnotised...I did for my wisdom tooth removal while at BYU and it was heavenly. Wonder why I forgot that great possibility. Interested?

Rachel said...

For some reason people being pregnant brings out the crazy comments and the urge to give advice. That's pretty funny.

Steve said...

I find it helps when I punch you in the back.