Depression? I certainly don't think so. I've been through that before, and this is not that bad. I've just got this general feeling of discontent. Like somethings not quite right and I can't tell what it is. I'm certain spring and getting outside will help assuage this feeling.
In the meantime, I've spent lots of time counting my blessings, trying to stay on the sunny side. When I get in a funk, I have trouble sleeping so I have lots of time to think... (...hazy, sleep-deprived thoughts). My kids are healthy, cute, happy, and love to learn. They love each other. They love me. Sam's working hard and does all he can to help at home. I've got good books and food. I'm healthy. I've got opportunities to grow and stretch and learn that keep my mind and spirit active. When I think of these things I am truly, humbly, so so grateful to God who makes them so.
When pangs of lonliness hit today, I called a dear, dear friend and almost-grandmother to my children. It brought me out of the slump for a few hours. And my various creations keep my hands busy and give me little jolts of accomplishment.
Still, there's always that something pushing its way in, elbowing out my patience and goodwill and inviting in all sorts of doubt and selfishness, pulling me in the wrong directions.
So, I guess this is just to say, I'm trudging, and pulling back, and hopefully I'll find some solid ground soon.