Monday, April 23, 2012
bragging
I'm in the middle of writing a post about some things the kids are up to lately, and it's a little bit braggy I think. Anna made a big leap of progress in something and I'm so proud of her, I had to share. I think this one's OK to share, but I'm sure some other things I've said on this blog have crossed the line, so I found this post from Momastery interesting today. What are your thoughts?
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6 comments:
Heather,
I am your friend, and I will always be happy to hear about progress your kids are making towards becoming/finding their true selves. I think it's exciting and heartwarming to hear :) Plus you present a balance. You share the hard parenting moments, as well, which I think braggarts don't like to show. It's all about being comfortable/confident with yourself and your family, and knowing that your TRUE friends will feel the same way about you :)
I do not take offense if my kids are not performing/growing/maturing at the same level as other people's kids at the same age. My older girl has started complaining about not being 'the best' at certain things (this is a HUGE problem in Chinese culture...always pressured to be #1). I just hug her and tell her I love her exactly the way she is. I will clap for her if she's first and I will still cheer for her just as loudly if she's last. I love her no matter what :)
M. Beachler
I think it's all in how you do it and how much you do it. I know people who are constantly making statements like, "He's much more advanced than the rest of his class." etc. and that is annoying bragging. If your child has been working really hard at something, whether learning a new skill, participating in a sport or trying to improve a grade, and they accomplish it I say brag about it! And I think you should tell your children that you are proud of them for those things too! I definitely have been trying to put a lot of emphasis on being proud of Ella for being kind to others at school but I also want her to know I am proud of her for always getting awesome grades. I don't blog her grades every report card because I think that is annoying bragging, but I do like to share specific accomplishments being made. I always loved knowing my parents were happy with my good grades or when I did well in sports and I never felt less loved when I failed at something. It is all about balance, as is everything in life. And I say it is YOUR blog, about YOUR kids and you can go ahead and say whatever the heck you want to about them :-)!
I think it is all in how you present it. There is, "My child is awesome and amazing" and there is, "My child is making some really exciting progress" and those are two very different things to me. I can take a little bit of the former, but I always am excited to hear about the latter.
I don't know if I do this very well, but I think that when I talk/brag about my kids I try to be somewhat self-deprecating in the process or to temper it with some other comment so that people get a feeling that it's not all sunshine and roses over here all the time, or I try to present it as matter-of-factly as I can, with as little, "And we're so proud!" or "Isn't he amazing!?" as possible. Whether I'm able to actually convey the facts without the judgments effectively is a different matter entirely . . . .
I think a big part of deciding about bragging is to remember your audience. Are you sharing with just friends who will rejoice in your kids' successes? brag away, and rejoice in their kids successes too. Are you a mommy blogger with hundreds of strangers reading your blog, and a need to make everything seem rosy? maybe bragging is a little more annoying there.
I personally love to hear the fun and funny things your kids (and my other friends' kids) do. I know that there are plenty of hassles and hard days for them too (which I may or may not hear about)
I say brag all you want. You are only showing your friends and family this blog. We love hearing updates.
I LOVE hearing about you and your kids. Don't stop telling all the stories you do. I wish you'd tell more actually. I have never ever thought you were bragging. Maybe it is how it's presented or maybe I have a blind eye, but I wanna hear!
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